Grief on Top of Grief

 

It's taken me a couple of days to be able to write this post.

On Tuesday morning we lost all of our earthly possessions and all of our animals. 

We don't know how the fire started. 

Sam saw smoke coming from the house and she went in with a fire extinguisher to try and put it out, but it was already too much. 

As she crawled back out she passed Milo who was already dead on the floor by the door. 

To say that this is heart breaking doesn't seem to be enough. 

The fire department would not respond because they said we were just outside the fire service area. 

They could have put it out, because it was only smoking when I got home after driving for almost an hour. 

I'm sure there was fire in the house. 

Anyway...

Words do not come easily. 

But I want to point out so many tender mercies. 

The fact that Sam was not hurt. 

That I had my 5 yr journal in an overnight bag because I was supposed to stay over at Rissa's that night. 

The fact that Matt had the key to his tractor in his pocket! 

How his overcoat was in my car and all of our temple clothes were also in the car.

How Sam found my mom's pie plate in the ashes.

How Matt found his dad, Afton's belt buckle right on top of the ashes.

How people have POURED out help for us.

We have been overwhelmed with support and love. 

How my boss just happened to be in town that day and got a hotel for the first night and bought us a meal.

How our friends the Greathouses opened their Airbnb for us to stay in for a week. 

How a friend of Matt's donated his excavator for clean up.

The gift cards, clothes, movie tickets...

How Jenwood ran to our aid that first day with clothing and food in two suitcases.

How the Hobbs ran and got us new garments that first day.

The offer of the Jenskies shop house that is two doors down from the farm.

How President Hobbs gave us both blessings in the temple last night.

The joy and hugs from Ashley and Justin seeing us in the temple last night. 

And there is even more that I can't think of right now, because there has been so much. 

I believe that all things will work together for our good. 

I believe our sweet animals are with Jesus and my mom.

I am leaning in to the promise that God will make beauty from ashes. 

But I could sure use a break from all the losses.