Mother's

I had an interesting experience last night.

Let me start at the beginning.

I've had abandonment issues for as long as I can remember.

My mother left us when I was around a year old.

I have never been close to her by my own choice. 

I'm not sure I ever will be in this life.

Anyway, since I started having issues with my heart I wondered if I had some emotional healing that needed to be done.

I started reading this book about trapped emotions and how to release them.

I know it sounds weird but I have believed for a really long time that there are two reasons why we have so many health issues: our food and trapped emotions.

So last night I decided to see if there was a trapped emotion that I could release.

There was.

Abandonment.

No surprise there.

As I went through the steps I've learned, to release it, I had a HUGE realization. 

All of sudden I realized that my mother, her mother and her mother all had abandonment issues.

When my mom was four years old her mother, Claire, died.

She was then raised by an aunt.

I don't know why her father didn't raise her.

When Claire was around 7 years old her father died.

He was a police officer and contracted a sickness while helping someone.

He died 3 days after helping that woman, leaving his wife, Clara and his children, Claire and Jack.

Misty, Claire, and Clara all had abandonment issues.

I wept for them.

I hope that trapped emotion of abandonment was released.

I don't know how all this works or if it even does, but I am hopeful that it does.

I am also hopeful that by it being released from me it can be released from them and generations to come so that my children will not have to suffer the same.

This experience has tied me to three women that I have never really known in this life.

They are my maternal line.

They are my mothers.

In a way, just recognizing them as such, brings a measure of healing.