The Before and the More

 Jochebed and I had a moment this morning. 

She's Moses mother. 

She had a baby boy (Moses) and was told that she had to have him killed. 

So she hid him for 3 months and then with all the faith that she could muster she prepared a little boat for him and sent him off on the river. 

She sent his sister to watch after him and watch what happened to him. 

What she couldn't have know was that in just a short while he would be back in her arms and safe. 

I imagine in those moments, or maybe even hours, after she put him in the river, she probably sat crying and praying with everything that she had in her. 

She did everything that she could for him and then she trusted in the Lord. 

 

Last Saturday I was making my breakfast and I sneezed. 

It was just a normal sneeze but directly following it all I heard was silence. 

Not a sound in the house. 

And that was when I broke down crying. 

In years past, every time I would sneeze, my girls would yell, "Bless you!" from where ever they were in the house. 

There was no bless you and the memories started leaking out my eyes. 

This morning as I pondered on Jochebed's story, I felt connected to her. 

I too, did everything I could for my kids.
I tried my best to build them little boats to stay afloat in the waters of their lives. 

I pray for them with everything I have most days and for angels to watch over them.

I had to let each of them go and now there is only one left with us full time. 

They are still in my life. 

In fact, one called while I was falling apart and we made plans to go shopping later that day. 

Another one saw me at a funeral and rubbed my arm, in the way she always has, when she walked passed me and said "Hi, mom!"

Most of them are at our house every Sunday to eat a meal and play a game or sing with me at the piano or do something crazy outside. 

When Jochebed got Moses back she got more. 

Because God is a God of abundance. 

And just like her, when they come back they bring more.

They bring Jessica, Dustin and Kyle.

They bring Afton, Emry, Andi, Atticus and Penny.

They bring more hugs.

More laughter.

More moments to make more memories. 

And I want to focus on the more, but some days the before leaks out my eyes. 

However, one day soon, the more that I am experiencing now will be the before. 

So I have to figure it out and be grateful for all the before and the more without mourning the before. 

I think it might have something to do with trusting in the Lord.