Good

This morning I felt like I needed a little regrouping.

I really need to get to the temple but that isn't going to happen this week because of everything we have going on.

So I went down to the lake, jumped in a kayak, and took my meditation time in the water. 

Last night I had sort of a fall apart.

I was pretty emotional.

While taking a shower I thought about the scripture in Romans that says, "all things work together for good to them that love the Lord." Romans 8:28

I started thinking about my surgery.

I never, ever at any time felt like I was going to die.

Never.

It was always a possibility but so is dying on any day.

Then I wondered what good came of all that.

The most evident good is that I am still alive.

I would have died if the surgery had not been done.

But what else?

As I laid in bed with Matt and tried to hold back the tears he said something important.

He said, "you get to decide what good comes from this in how you live the rest of your life."

And he's right.

Also, I think sometimes we don't even get to see the good that comes from our struggles in this life until we pass from it.

I just want to make a difference in my world.

I want to be a force for good.

I want to bring people closer to Christ because He brings peace and happiness. 

I want to do more.