Choice

I want to make a couple of things clear.

I never wanted to take on three more kids.

I already raised my family. 

Corban is almost 13.

 I have three adult children.

I am going to be 44 years old this year.

And if I had wanted more kids I could have popped them out at any time.

I was in a place in my life where I could come and go as I pleased.

I had planned a trip to Salt Lake to see friends and go to RootsTech that had to be cancelled.

No one would choose to take this path on purpose.

Now my time will be spent in visits with parents, grandparents, OCS workers, GAL's, and specialists.

I won't be able to spend as much time in the greenhouse and garden.

I won't be able to spend as much time in genealogy work.

I will have to figure out how to balance Corban's education with all of these extras in the house.

One of the worst parts of this are the family members that have no regard for me or my family. 

One thing I have learned about setting boundaries is that I can cut people out of my life and not feel bad about that.

That is probably going to happen just so I can do this.

The only reason I am doing this is because I did make one choice.

I chose to follow my Heavenly Father and do what He asked me to do.

That is the ONLY reason I am going to survive this.

In the meantime, I cry tears for plans abandoned and a freedom that I was enjoying.