The Struggle is Real

The first 20 years of my life I never experienced a real winter.

Growing up in Arizona I remember my dad never wearing a coat.

I remember only a handful of times when I felt cold waking up in the morning and gathering as close to the pot belly fireplace that we had downstairs. 

I remember one winter when we actually got enough snow to build a snowman.

It was sometime in the 80's.

Once Matt and I married we moved to southern Idaho.

I remember watching the wind blow the snow across open farm fields while I looked out the kitchen window of our single wide trailer.
The water in the sink was frozen in a long line from the spigot to the sink because we left it running so it wouldn't freeze overnight.

That obviously didn't work.

We lasted that winter there and then promptly returned to the warmth of Arizona.

Wondering why anyone would live in a place so cold.

Five years later we moved to Alaska. 

We have now lived here for over 15 years.

January and February are the hardest months for me.
It's the darkness.

Add to that fact, that I have been experiencing incredible amounts of trials and family drama and you have a recipe for emotional disaster.  

Increased vitamin D and happy lights don't help.

It's this time of year, every single year, that I struggle.

I wonder why anyone would live here.

This morning the thermometer in the car read -11.

Again.

My propane bill for last month is $1196.61.

I had the thought to do a laughing challenge for a week.

To laugh at something every day.

Yesterday I noticed that despite my discontent I laughed a lot.

Next week the two youngest and I head to warmer weather for 4 days.

I am going to try to be as mindful as I can of that experience and hope and pray it is enough to lift my spirits.

Alaska is fabulous from May to October.

Maybe I need to be a snowbird or hurry up and get rich so I can travel during the winter months. 

This picture was one of the moments I laughed yesterday.

I love my kids!